NOTE: I wrote the first draft of this post less than two weeks ago…my friends had just arrived from the States, and we were preparing for a fun week of adventure. Crazy how much has shifted since this day, as I’ve just completed my final edits from quarantine in our apartment. Although it feels unfitting to post it now…perhaps this message is a needed reminder of God’s consistent goodness and power, even in times of uncertainty.
Yesterday, upon leaving my life group and beginning to scoot home, I was struck with a profound feeling of gratitude...almost to the point where I didn’t know quite what to do with myself.
Should I cry? Should I sing? Should I shout?
Seeing how I was by myself, I opted for a simple smile as I soaked in the crisp, humid breeze and zoomed through impossibly quaint European streets to my apartment where John awaited.
We’ve been in The Netherlands for only 7 months...yet in that short time, God has blessed us so immensely I can hardly believe it. We have a church community where we feel known, valued, and challenged. Natural and easy friendships have taken root. Our apartment fulfills and goes above and beyond any need that we have. A practice of reading the Bible more both individually and together has begun to produce fruit as we discuss what we are learning and meditating on…and the overall depth of discussion between John and I has started to deepen as we stretch and flex our muscles of intentional questioning.
Perhaps more than any other time in my whole life, I have felt the tangible love of God lavished upon me by the pure and simple pleasantness and ease he has ordained in our transition here. All of the aforementioned things could have been hard aspects of moving abroad...finding a church community, building friendships, practicality in everyday life, the ease or struggle of our relationship as a couple...but they have not been hard...they have been simple and sweet and gentle and GOOD.
So often I have experienced Gods goodness and his faithfulness through hardship in my life...but have I forgotten that he also gives gifts that tangibly feel good as well? Should I not draw just as close to him in times of ease as I do in the hard, knowing that he is sovereign over ALL of it?
When hard times come, I am quick to respond by declaring the sovereign nature of God. “Yes, that must be difficult/scary/frustrating/sad...but remember, God is sovereign…He is in control”. But how often do I declare God’s sovereignty after experiencing a divine blessing or hearing a pleasant life report from a friend?
If God is sovereign over the difficult things we experience, then he is also sovereign over the pleasantness in our lives. He ordains these gifts as well; and I believe that he wants us to sit in the reality of this, recognizing good and simple gifts as a way that He tangibly shows his love for us.
I know that God loves me in the hard...that He is sustaining me and walking hand in hand with me through it...I’ve lived that…my story reflects it. How strange that it is harder for me to know and feel that God loves me when life is full of ease.
Whether in hard times or seasons of tangible sweetness, I want to recognize and build my life upon the love of Jesus, which is constant no matter the circumstance. I want to become more and more aware of his presence...whether I’m a broken mess in the tough times, or beaming with gratitude as I ride home from life group through a beautiful old European city.
For truly God is sovereign over pleasant circumstances just as equally as challenging ones.
Oh that I would grow to see both as good, both as loving.
Oh that my relationship with and understanding of this good God would deepen, along with my security in His love for me in all seasons.
Oh that out of this foundation would flow praise and strength and humility.
Thank you for this sweet and simple life-stage, Jesus...for time and space to meditate and write...for speaking truth to my heart and mind and soul...for solidifying my awareness of your love for me through pleasant and easy and sweet undeserved gifts.
Truly, you have been so, so good to me.